It has been a MINUTE. Wow I have a lot I want to say + this is going to be a very vulnerable post that I hope helps provide a little clarity on my 6 month silence. First off, I do this whole thing for me, because I truly enjoy food + cooking + the foodie community, but my wish is that at least one person can take something away from Hangry Hannah – happiness, a new recipe to cook with a best friend/loved one/themselves, a new perspective on the health/wellness/foodie community, or maybe just a few minutes of escape from the every day hustle + bustle of life. This post is most likely going to be a random assortment of my thoughts + recounts of what I’ve experienced + learned about myself. I like to think of myself as a very organized person, but I’m letting that go for this post – just gonna write + get it all out. So, here we go! The past 6 months or so have been a whirlwind. I learned a lot about myself + truly took the time to do what I needed for myself for the first time. What a freakin’ game changer people. If you take away one thing from this post I hope it is this: do what you need to do for you when you need to. Y’all if you don’t take the time to take care of yourself + love yourself more than anything than you are not living. This summer I interned at Southwest Airlines – an incredible experience that taught me a whole lot + brought some of the most amazing + inspiring people into my life. However, it was a lot busier than I expected. I commuted an hour there + back each day + traveled almost every weekend. I loved every second of it, but I had an intention to grow + expand Hangry Hannah – that (obviously) just did not happen. Rather I stepped away + only posted a couple of times on Instagram – which is totally ok + I don’t regret spending my time elsewhere/doing other things. Suddenly senior year of college started + I found myself in a busy AF semester (20 hours – yikes!), trying to work part time, have somewhat of a social life, + try not to think about post-grad life 24/7. It is safe to say that mentally, I was unwell. Thankfully, I have some pretty kick ass people in my life that encouraged me to clear my plate off a little + take time for myself. Half way through the semester, I decided to quit my job + focus on school/friends. A little weight was lifted off my shoulder. But that didn’t get me back to feeling like myself as I thought it would. I would go from class to homework to job searching to crying on the phone with my mom telling her how much I missed home feeling like a 12 year old at summer camp for the first time. For sure not what I thought senior year of college was gonna be like! Ok I want to take a moment to say that I am realllllly lucky to be getting a college education, have two very supportive parents, an encouraging boyfriend, genuine friends, etc. I don’t want it to seem like my life was terrible/I didn’t feel gratitude towards all I’ve been blessed with. With that being said, I was struggling + I needed help. So I swallowed my pride + called a therapist. It felt so damn good to shamelessly get all my feelings off my chest + listen to a professional outside perspective. Turns out I was experiencing some anxiety about my final year in school + what the future held (which is totally normal!!). My therapist equipped me with practices to help relieve my anxiety, love on myself more, live in the moment + stop worrying, as well as reminded me that I was OK + I just needed to slow down + take a deep breath. I honestly believe that every single person can benefit from counseling/therapy. No feeling is too small. Mental health is important. Loving yourself is important. Not feeling shame or guilt about how you feel is important. We need to take time for ourselves + not feel bad about it. Starting that semester I wanted to dive right back into this blog + had alllll these ideas of what I wanted to post + write about. That didn’t happen, + at first it really bummed me out. Looking back though, I am beyond thankful that I stepped back + took the time to learn about myself + what I can do to love on myself + help me feel good. During that semester, I struggled with gut issues/trying to eat well/exercise/do well in school/etc/etc/etc. Turns out I was putting so much stress on myself that I was physical hurting. I was in a constant state of stress + my tummy didn’t like it. Once I took time for me + not put so much pressure on myself + let go of trying to find the perfect job/eat the perfect meal/get perfect grades, I felt good. Finally!!!!!! During this time, I started practicing yoga again + completely fell in love. Yoga reminded me to breath, to respond rather than react, to challenge myself while loving myself, to be vulnerable in my community, to clear my mind, to try new things. It may not be for everyone, but I’m obsessed with yoga + encourage anyone to give it a shot (it changed my life!) + hope to share more about my practice on this site. Christmas break came along + I took FULL advantage of having a whole month to do just chill. It was so freakin’ awesome + restful. I’m entering this new year feeling recharged + ready to take on whatever comes my way. My goal is get back into Hangry Hannah – sharing recipes/tips, life experiences, fav food spots, + more. I’m excited + nervous, but I’m choosing not to put any pressure on myself. I’m leaving perfectionism in 2018 + continuing to learn to love more, chill out, be ok with whatever happens. Ok whoa that was lot hahaha but it feels really good to put into existence what has been going on in my brain for quite a while. I would love to hear y’alls thoughts, so please reach out to share, questions, suggest, etc.
Stay hangry + happy + don’t forget to love yourself today!